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Student writing sample:
Friends are forever. Or so they say. The friendships I had in my
country were so strong and important to me. And then life
interrupts,
paths change, and friendships are lost. They say that difficult times
help us mature. I’ve had to mature too much this last year.
There were four of us who were best friends. We went to school
194. Two of us were in one grade nine form, and two of us were in another.
We wrote many notes to each other everyday.
We traveled on the bus
together to school and we shared hair stuff, clothes, coats, etc. We
shared everything. We were all secretly in love with certain boys
who we admired in each of our classrooms.
If a boy was in a friend’s
classroom the friend had the duty of
reporting his every action to the
friend. We listened to Western music and sang our favourite songs badly.
We criticized our dilemmas and argued about who was the
worse off because
of what was happening to us. We listened each other and hugged each other
when we needed a hug.
Then it happened, my parents told me to come into the main room and said
that their dream had come true. We were approved to move to the west.
We
would go in two month, during the summer so that I could begin grade ten in
the new country. New country? Different school? In two months!!???
My world crashed. I started screaming “I’m not going, you can’t do this to
me, I’ll stay with my friends, did anyone ask me??! I cried and cried and
ran out of the flat and took the bus to see my closest
friend. She was
shocked and we held each other and we cried and cried. The next day I
shared the terrible news with my other friends. We skipped classes and
walked and cried. We tried to think of ways that I could get out of
leaving but always ended with the bad news - I had to go. I had to start
figure out this big change in my life.
The next two months we spent our time promising to be friends forever.
We discussed ways to keep in
touch and set plans to meet in the future.
My parents didn’t understand why I was so unhappy; they were so excited.
I was a little bit excited when they said we probably would be able to buy a
car after a few months and maybe even a house someday. And
even though I
was sure I would never find friends like the ones I had ever again I knew I
had to go with my family. To accept this change of path in my life was the
hardest thing I ever had to do, but I guess had to, I guess it’s part of
growing up.
Selects from a greater range of utility words (notes, traveled, action, flat), descriptive words (strong, secretly, excited,
few), subject-specific words (dilemmas, duty), academic words (reporting, discussed, understand) and words with
multiple meanings (touch, set, even).
Uses phrasal expressions (two of us, dream had come true, skipped classes), conditional structures (if) and a range of
tenses in active voice (My world crashed) and passive voice (The friendships I had in my country were so strong and important to
me.) with increasing accuracy.
Uses a variety of sentence types to express relationships of time (We would go in two month, during the summer so that I could begin grade ten in the
new country.) and condition (If a boy was in a friend’s classroom the friend had the duty of reporting his every action to the
friend.).
Makes effective word choices (interrupts, admired, criticized).
Produces expository and narrative texts with a developing sense of audience, genre, voice and degree of formality (Friends are forever. Or so they
say. They say that difficult times help us mature.).
Writes a cohesive, well-developed five-paragraph academic composition using a variety of cohesive devices (this last year, who, because, then it
happened, the next day, but always, the next two months, when, after, even though, but).
Edits and revises texts for most punctuation conventions, word forms (friendships, friends, friend), word choice
(argued, worse off), content, organization, verb tense (took, could, get, had to go),
active voice (I had to start figure out this big change in my life.) and passive voice (To accept this change of path in my
life was the hardest thing I ever had to do.).
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