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Student writing sample:
In the last years we are facing a really big problem called “Global Warming”
because the humanity
was not so carefull with the planet Earth.
Global warming has many bad effects
and it always an international environment problem that people want to solve. With the growing of earth
population, global warming has become serious than ever. The citizens can reduce the effects of global warming
if they
recycle the material products like paper, glass, etc. If we will recycle the
rubbish more than ever before we will get a better future. I could do many things like recycling. At home I
will seperate the trash into many categories.
For example, papers, bottles, and garbages. So many people do not recycle or just through the
rubbish in the
nature. Papers could reuse after the process of paper
factories, bottles could reuse after the process of factories too. It might save a lot of materials like woods
and plastics. Also, the northpole melt away not completely but pieces of it. There are not just the icebears who need a place to life we also need a clean
and nice place to life. Also, the Earth is very poluted because of the impact of fossil fuels like oil, gas and coal.
On the other hand, I could ride my bicycle instead of taking car. If many people ride the bike instead of drive themselves, the C02
emessions might desend. Another things should be aware of are the fossil fuels, it will become empty some day
if we don’t find the substitute energy. Most of the people become really
comfortable and (they forget to use the bikes) not careful with the environment.
They forget the oxygen is an important resource for life and they continue to cut the forests. We
However, these things have an influence on us.
When the oil get fewer, the price get higher. Customers might to pay more on many things and some people might
not afford it.
We all need to be better friends to our world and nature.
We should start to pay more attention to the Earth needs if we want to live in a
safe-way. To sum up, helping reduce the effects of global warming is not only good
for yourself but the every one and our home planet Earth.
Uses a range of utility words (population, material products, factories), descriptive words (serious, substitute,
comfortable, careful, many), subject-specific words (recycle, emmessions [emissions], energy) and academic words
(seperate [separate], impact ,effects).
Uses negatives (not, don’t), irregular plurals (rubbish), object pronouns (us),
prepositions (of, into, in, to, on, for), regular verbs in past (called, poluted [polluted]) and future continuous
tenses (no evidence), and irregular verbs in past (was) and future continuous tenses (no evidence).
Writes a variety of compound sentences (They forget the oxygen is an important resource for life and they continue to cut the forests.) and
complex sentences (We should start to pay more attention to the Earth needs if we want to live in a safe way.).
Uses circumlocution (Also, the northpole melt away not completely but pieces of it. = Arctic sea ice cover is becoming thinner.) and word
substitution (icebears = polar bears) to add descriptions to writing.
Produces expository and narrative texts using knowledge of culturally appropriate forms (Writes expository response in essay format.) and
styles (Adopts persuasive style: We all need to be better friends to our world and nature.).
Connects ideas in a three-paragraph narrative or descriptive composition using transition words (In the last years, For example, or, Also, On the
other hand, Another things, However, To sum up) and subordinate conjunctions (because, if, before, after).
Level 2: Edits and revises paragraphs for regular spelling (categories, bottles, environment), end
punctuation (.), commas in lists (,) and addition of detail (I could ride my bicycle instead of taking
car.).
Level 3: Edits and revises texts for capitalization of proper nouns, apostrophes, quotation marks, hyphens, dashes, commas, regular
and irregular spelling, spelling of homophones and homonyms, subject–verb agreement, appropriate word choice and addition of supporting details.
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