Grade 9 Level 4 Writing Sample

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Do you think it's important for people to continue to travel into space?  Why or why not?  You may want to think about issues, such as:

  • costs
  • dangers
  • rewards.
Student Example

Student writing sample:

Space exploration is the traveling on space to explore the things in space through the use of special machines such as rockets, space ships etc. Space exploration is a waste of money and dangerous.

It is not good to explore space because of the cost. It takes millions of dollars to launch a rocket into space. The money could be spent on things that are worth wild like investing in clothing that is healthy to the environment.

Also the dangers involved in launching a rocket into space are just too terrible. Like for example when a space rocket is about to launch in space if there's not enough fuel, the rocket could just explode with human beings still on it and that would cause their deaths. Entering space is dangerous because there is too much air and too little gravity and without or with too much air in your lungs is probably very complicated to breathe.

Also the reason why think it's not good for people to continue to travel to space because it would cause pollution to the earth like for example when they are about to leave the earth the flames or smoke from the rock space shuttle can cause air pollution thereby endangering the lives of plants and animals

There are benefits in space traveling.  Doing experiments are very good rewards from expeditions carried out by the astronauts. But maybe these experiments we can do on Earth and save money.  Other benefits like learning about the moon and the different planets and what they are made out, how hot or cold they are and most importantly get to learn about how to keep the Earth healthy from all the different gases.  Maybe we need to learn more about how is the earth going to be more healthy from pollution.

That’s all I can say about the topic space exploration.

Selects from a greater range of utility words (money, cost, rocket, clothing, flames, rock), descriptive words (dangerous, millions, space rocket, too little, too much, hot, cold, healthy), subject-specific words (space exploration, environment, gravity, pollution, space shuttle, expeditions), academic words (cause, reason, benefits, experiments, different) and words with multiple meanings (waste, still, space, save, keep, more) with increased understanding of curricular concepts.

Uses negatives (not, without), irregular plurals (people, air, smoke), object pronouns (It), prepositions (on, to, in, of, into, about, for, from), regular verbs in past (involved, complicated, carried) and future continuous tenses (no evidence), irregular verbs in past (spent, made) and future continuous tenses (present continuous used) with occasional errors.

Uses connected complex sentences in cohesive, well-developed texts with supporting details (Space exploration is the traveling on space to explore the things in space through the use of special machines such as rockets, space ships etc.).

Uses circumlocution (plants and animals = living things, learning about the moon and different planets = astronomy) and word substitution (worth wild [while]) to add description to writing (… or with too much air in your lungs is probably very complicated to breathe.) and to make better word choices (endangering the lives of …).

Produces expository texts using knowledge of culturally appropriate forms and styles. (Writes a simple paragraph containing a simple thesis statement in an introductory paragraph, and body paragraphs in a logical sequence.)

Connects ideas in a three-paragraph descriptive composition using transition words (also, for example, and, or, but, Other, Maybe, That’s all) and subordinate conjunctions (that, because, thereby).

Level 3: Edits sentences for placement of apostrophes (there’s, it’s), quotation marks (no evidence), a variety of tenses (is/are, would cause/can cause, going to be) and common irregularly spelled words (enough, astronauts, exploration).
Approaching Level 4: Edits and revises expository text for capitalization of proper nouns, apostrophes, quotation marks, hyphens, dashes, commas, regular and irregular spelling, spelling of homophones and homonyms, subject–verb agreement, word choice and addition of supporting details.

Use the checkboxes below to display the corresponding benchmark text.

Benchmark Ratings

 
 4
 
 4
 
 4
 
 4
 
 4
 
 4
 
 3
Overall
Benchmark Level:
4

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